Why are my kids gay
What I Did When My 11-Year-Old Son Came Out as Gay
My son was 11 years old when he told me he was bisexual. I honestly would’ve been less surprised if he’d pulled out a switchblade and told me he’d joined the Warriors street gang.
“Thank you for confiding in me,” I told him. I only knew to utter that because I was the last parent in my social circle with a kid to approach out as either male lover, bi or gender nonbinary. A global survey conducted in 27 countries (including the U.S.) and released last June found that nearly 1 in 5 young adults — those born after 1997, otherwise known as Generation Z — identify as something other than straight.
But you know what doesn’t support when you’re sitting in a car with your 11-year-old as he tells you that he’s sexually attracted to both boys and girls? Statistics. You could tell me 1 in 5 Gen Zers are growing goatees, and my first thought would still be, My son is too young for a goatee!
According to Christy Olezeski, the director and cofounder of the Yale Pediatric Gender program, my first reaction was the right one. “The parent should say, ‘Thank you so much for trusting me to come to me with this information,’” she says. So far, so go
Sexual Orientation
Adolescence is the dawn of sexual attraction. It happens due to the hormonal changes of puberty. These changes involve both the body and the mind — so just thinking about someone attractive can cause physical arousal.
These new feelings can be intense, confusing, sometimes even overwhelming. Teens are origin to discover what it means to be attracted romantically and physically to others. And noticing one's sexual orientation is part of that process.
What Is Sexual Orientation?
The phrase sexual orientation refers to the gender (that is, male or female) to which a person is attracted. There are several types of sexual orientation that are commonly described:
- Heterosexual (straight). People who are heterosexual are romantically and physically attracted to members of the opposite sex: males are attracted to females, and females are attracted to males. Heterosexuals are often called "straight."
- Homosexual (gay or lesbian). People who are homosexual are romantically and physically attracted to people of the same sex: females are attracted to other females; males are attracted to other males. Homosexuals (whether male or female) are often called "gay.
Book Excerpt: Is Your Infant Gay?
Excerpted fromWhy Is the Penis Shaped Like That? … And Other Reflections on Being Human, by Jesse Bering, by arrangement with Scientific American/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC (North America), Transworld Ltd (UK), Jorge Zahara Editora Ltda (Brazil). Copyright © 2012 by Jesse Bering.
We all know the stereotypes: an unusually light, delicate, effeminate air in a tiny boy's step, an interest in dolls, makeup, princesses and dresses, and a strong distaste for coarse play with other boys. In little girls, there is the outwardly boyish stance, perhaps a penchant for tools, a square-jawed readiness for physical tussles with boys, and an aversion to all the perfumed, delicate trappings of femininity.
These behavioral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbingers of adult homosexuality. It is only relatively recently, however, that developmental scientists have conducted managed studies to identify the earliest and most dependable signs of adult homosexuality. In looking carefully at the childhoods of same-sex attracted adults, researchers are discovery an intriguing set of behavioral indicators that homosexuals seem to ha
Help! My Son is Gay
by Ricky Chelette, Executive Director
“So should I push my son towards women now?” That’s a question I often get from fathers of young men who are struggling with similar gender attractions. Dads are often devastated by the discovery of their son’s homosexuality. But the reply to their son’s battle is not to shove him into the arms of a woman. In fact, such a transfer could actually do more damage than good.
But what should a dad do for his son? In a word: connect! I realize when saying that many dads might think, “I am related to my son. He’s my son. I’ve been around him since birth. We are fine.” But the fact is that simply being present doesn’t mean you have any kind of emotional, intimate, connection with your son. He is a sensitive guy who needs to be spoken to in a language he can hear and understand. Proclamations of facts do short-lived to move his heart. He wants words dripping with raw emotion and heart-felt passion. He wants to know you, intimately, and feel the weight of your passion for him. In many ways, he wants you to look him straight in his eyes and narrate him how much you love him, how arrogant you are of him, and how you consider he has what i
As I relayed in When Your Toddler Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterling, 2016), I found out that my son was gay from a note with our son's entitle entwined with another boy's, surrounded by a heart. I accidentally found that note in his room when I was cleaning.
I never questioned him about the heart I found on the sly. How would I have brought it up? Assume I was wrong? After all, he had a admiration on a young woman in his class.
I had suspected at times that he was homosexual. He only had girls to his thirteenth birthday party. He preferred gentler sports. He was always concerned about how he looked and followed fashion. Were these stereotypical thoughts from a straight mother? You bet, but it was ingrained through the culture's binary system and ideas about how males were "supposed to" behave.
As it turns out, our son didn't come out until he was 17, was on his own, and brought a lover to visit. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would own defensively said "No!" He had to work it out and work through his denial. I'm glad I muzzled myself.
Susan Berland, the mother of a gay son who coaches parents of LGBTQ kids, caution, "It's not a good idea to ask. Let your c