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Review: ‘Ambulance’ Is Michael Bay’s Latest Raucous Mess
More than once in the aimless heist-gone-wrong epic Ambulance (★★☆☆☆), supposed criminal mastermind Danny Acute (Jake Gyllenhaal) is asked if he has a schedule. Among others, his adopted bro Will (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), lured into another of Danny’s ill-conceived schemes, demands to know, “What’s the plan?!”
Will’s question has the ring of an inside joke aimed at director Michael Bay for this hectic adaptation of the 2005 Danish drama Ambulancen. Nearly twice as long as the film that inspired it, Bay’s show, written by Prodigal Son co-creator Chris Fedak, definitely proceeds like a caper devoid of a plan. And given that someone here sarcastically quotes Sean Connery in Bay’s 1996 hit The Rock, inside jokes clearly aren’t off-limits.
The fact that Michael Bay movies subsist in the nature of this Michael Bay movie is, in itself, the movie’s best joke. We might envision the characters onscreen stuck in a loop living in or watching a Bay-directed cavalcade of guns, cars, chases, and explosions on repeat — just like anyone watching Ambulance.
To say that Michael Bay directs like an enthusiastic toddler smashing together matchbox cars is a exhausted statement by this show. We all know what we’re in for during a Bay joint, and to expect anything otherwise is an exercise in lunacy. But I require to know specifically which motherfucker gave this guy a drone camera so I can chase them through the LA River in a helicopter. The camera, as per usual, is always kinetic: shooting Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II having a conversation with as much freneticism as a literal car chase does nothing but dilute the excitement of the latter. This is a lesson Bay has never learned. But the new tool in his arsenal now is the athleticism of drone photography. Peppered throughout the opening act are needless squiggle-sessions by some random camera exploring the architecture of downtown LA. It’s all just so very much in service of not much at all. Cops chase criminals, the past comes back to haunt everyone… myeh. If nothing else, the feature goes for shock value in some of its gorier moments. The cool open features a juvenile girl impaled on a metal spike, and premature in the heist a man is run over, his lower half mangled beyond recognit
ambulance
There are few filmmakers who’s very identify attached acts as both a noun and a descriptive adjective of the film. Michael Bay is one of those directors, and Ambulance is his latest film.
The story’s about two brothers who botch a bank robbery, seek their getaway with hostages in a stolen ambulance and try to thwart police in a high-speed pursuit. This may sound familiar because it’s based off the 2005 low-budget Danish indie Ambulancen.
To Americanize this update, Bay goes big setting it in Los Angeles, having one of the brothers as a military veteran and delivering a full display of his signature style: explosive mayhem, macho testosterone, brazen product placement and absurd reality distortion.
There is an art to delivering this considerate of signature and it’s quite refreshing to see it as a position alone movie with regular people rather than some entry in a superhero franchise, or in Bay’s past, one of his five Transformers films.
Leading off Ambulance is Jake Gyllenhaal as Danny and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as his adoptive brother Will.
Danny grew up to be a criminal, having accomplished 38 bank robberies by this time, whereas Will is a decorated veteran having
‘Ambulance,’ the latest adrenaline shot from Michael Bay, America’s broheim auteur
The GO-GO-GO maximalist Michael Bay is Hollywood’s adrenaline shot to the heart—jolting, extreme, wildly excessive. And, like any intracardiac injection, it’s ultimately worst medicine. But what a rush! How apt, then, that his latest cardiac arrest, Ambulance, is fundamentally a medical procedural as only Bay can deliver: it’s a STAT emergency surgery operation wrapped in a bank robbery, a high-speed car chase, an estranged sibling drama, and a political critique of how America mistreats its own military veterans. But don’t rupture that spleen!
Ambulance is both too much and not enough, which describes every Michael Bay production ever made. Come for the immersive high-octane cinematic overstimulation, stay because Bay has pummeled you into submission. The director of ’90s bloviations like The Rock, Bad Boys, and Armageddon—as well as five Transformers movies, all CGI orgies of robot-on-robot violence—works in a dramatic shorthand larded with cornball dad-joke patter, and creates baroque chaos leading described as Bayhem. His signature choreography of action-from-every-direction is s
AMBULANCE – Review
So, from this film’s title, you’re thinking it’s a “fly on the wall” documentary with the filmmakers doing a “ride-along” with EMTs on a typical day, complete of drama and threat, right? Or maybe it’s a docudrama following a young emergency worker going from their training and studies right up to the first week of their hospital assignment (with maybe a romance with another “lifesaver”). Well, I can give a huge “nope” to both presumptions. Sure, the title vehicle is the main fixate of this film, but it’s the kind of loud, noisy, frenetic move thriller that we usually get sometime in the Summer. And was a multiplex staple of the 90s. Well just coincidentally (well, maybe not) this flick is directed by the “unofficial kingpin” of those blockbusters from that era (hey, if Adrian Lynne can come help with a sexy murder mystery, then…). So plain the aisle in the theatre and make room for a very quick AMBULANCE.
But it doesn’t all begin with that “hospital-on-wheels”. After a nostalgic daydream-like sequence of two adolescent boys at playtime, the story shifts