Gay men text

Every week as an LGBTQ therapist, without fail, I hear stories of hurt feelings and painful miscommunication stemming from the use of technology. It’s obvious that many friends and boyfriends watch over to share personal and difficult feelings through communicate and email.

Why?

Because it is easier. It is less scary to state a vulnerable truth when typing alone on your screen, compared to looking into someone’s face and seeing his reaction. We concern less about being judged, and we avoid his hurt or uncomfortable eyes.

We feel safest expressing ourselves when we are alone, where no one can see us.

When he does respond, we know he’ll probably respond through technology. We’ll be alone as we read and he won’t see how vulnerable we look. What a relief that we can hide once more.

Being a Man

Men aren’t raised to express their tender emotions. Little girls have more permission to cry and say, “You hurt my feelings.” If little boys tried to process their feelings, they might be shunned from the playground for years. Really, it makes no sense.

So it’s a leap for a man to gather his courage, take a thick breath, and do something uncomfortable like