Gay 40 and single
5 Tips to Overcome Your Loneliness as a Gay Man
Updated April 18, 2025
by Clinton Power, psychotherapist and Gay Therapy Center guest blogger
Unfortunately, struggling with feelings of loneliness and isolation is frequent in the queer community despite the focus on treasure and relationships. Sometimes you might effort with making connections at all, and other times you may feel “alone in a crowded room” because it’s so hard to forge true connections.
Let’s explore how you can constructively deal with feelings of loneliness and participate a life you’re excited to live!
Why do gay men get lonely?
Loneliness is, in some ways, part of the gay experience. The prevalence of loneliness was significantly higher among adults who identified as male lover (41.2%). Since everyone is assumed to be heterosexual, we all start out in the closet. The stress of not being out is emotional more than rational, but it takes its toll. Even before you came out to yourself, on some level you might have established you couldn’t fulfill expectations of a heterosexual life. You may have grown up feeling other and separated from the majority.
After you’re out of the closet, things don’t necessarily improve right away
When I first discovered dating website , in my 20s, I learned that it was one of the most exciting things about entity a gay man in New York City. I’d already been in two back-to-back relationships, the first while I was still in college. Being a “free man” was every bit as wonderful as I could have imagined. Each date meant a reason to get dressed up, find a brand-new restaurant, sip cocktails and share glances and initiate leg brushes and, if lucky, nail him.
Most dates didn’t translate to lover, and some of them tanked on the spot… and… so? I never felt that a bond was the ultimate target going into the evening; fun mattered more and the opportunity to join new people. If the man of my dreams came along in the process, it would own been icing on our dessert cake.
When I second discovered dating, in my 40s, I learned that eating glass and stapling my lips together would have been a more enjoyable evening. It took a few years, and what seems love a few thousand dates, to reach this finding, and a few more to realize that the only way to end the emotional carnage was to take myself out of the game. I haven’t shut off internet dating completely (goodbye dating sites and men who find
Gay Life after 40
Hello, my name is William Smith, the founder of Queer Life After 40.
Our motto is “Keep Aging Forward.”
I grew up in Kenosha, Wisconsin, between Milwaukee and Chicago. I worked and lived in Chicago for approximately 20 years.
We possess two online platforms:
The first is a Facebook Organization called Gay Life after 40. It’s a confidential group for gay men over 40.
I was inspired to start this Collective after seeing a void in presenting ourselves and having meaningful discussions in our age group. I was opposed to middle-aged men uploading images of themselves when as adults, they were at an age where their experiences had substance and dialogue.
Gay Life After 40 has 42,000 members and is growing rapidly. It has become one of the largest gay Facebook groups in the country. We want men to interact with each other, grasp, ask questions, and participate. We do not discuss about politics. Everything else is ok.
To generate provocative discussions within the community, I spend time with other men to know their thoughts and questions, which allows me to ask the group about more topics. The posts on our site incorporate both posts an
The Trials and Tribulations of Gay Dating Over 40
By Guest Writer Marcello Rollando
I am in my fifties and I have been dating for the last 5 years. I recently establish my life partner . I learned a lot from my journey. I wrote this article as a way of giving back to the people that I love. I was living a linear life for nearly 40 years.
There definitely is a learning curve to matchmaking app after 40. My queer friends say that Homosexual dating is not appreciate It used to be especially now that we are all older.
Sooner or later if you truly crave a relationship you must jump in the dating pool and produce it a big splash.
The dating pool has never been more interesting and challenging. There are more players than ever before. Why? Because of many guys recently like myself have come out in their 40’s and 50’s and also due to longer life spans. This contributes to more unattached Gay Men in their 50’s and above than at any other time .
Based on my experiences, I have found some facts about gay dating Over 40:
- Gay Men, my age, look older than I do—because I am in complete denial about how old I look. ( studies have shown that we see ourselves 10-20 ye
Around The Site
It hits. The big 4-0, and then something even worse happens and no one can quite trust how that happened to you, and when it happened to you on your 40th birthday. (You’ll have to listen to the podcast and scan the book to discover what). From that moment on you realize, you are on your own, that pole dancing and rock climbing aren’t for you, and that you don’t require the love of another to desire yourself. Wiser words were never said than by today’s guest, author Jonathan Lee. Explore his new book, 40 Single Gay, and the lessons he’s learned that will make you realize…you’re not alone.
About Jonathan
Jonathan Lee is an indie author, counsellor, trainee life coach and social protect manager of twenty years. He’s also a son, a brother, a comrade, and a male lover man. His debut novel 40 Unpartnered Gay, a coming of age memoir, comically depicts his 40th year as he comes to terms with this chapter in his life whilst he unpicks his failed relationships, re-enters the world of online dating and one darkness stands before realizing the important things in life.
Born in Cornwall, England where he has recently returned to dwell, Jonathan starts each day